How To Be a Lightworker
Growing up we had a saying in our family, “You can telephone, telegram, or tele-Kaleigh,” and I would say at the time, it played. When I was young (ok, who am I kidding this lasted well into my 20s) I wanted to be included in everything and thought my worth was derivative of being the person who had the sibling “scoop” that I could relay back to the parents.
As I get deeper along my self-discovery journey, I now see how destructive that pattern was for my family at large. It left me feeling in the middle (and being a middle child I don’t need more of that) between my parents and my siblings. Boundaries were pushed, and more often than not trust was destroyed, as no one felt confident that what they were sharing would remain between the two parties involved. It caused massive amounts of unnecessary drama and misinterpreted sentiments; it caused judgment and hurt feelings; and overall, it just really sucked.
So the other day, when my dad was sharing something in confidence with me he repeated that line: telegram, telephone, tele-Kaleigh.
You know why I believe in coaching and doing the internal work to unlearn unconscious behaviors? It because in moments like the other day, when my dad made a comment about me being a blabbermouth, I could calmly look him in the eye and ask him to stop. Now, I can speak up for myself without judgment of how past versions of myself behaved, rather I understand where the behavior originated from.
Now, I have a choice. Now, I can say, “Please stop saying that phrase to me. It no longer applies and if you want to share what’s eating at you I will listen; if you would like to keep it to yourself I respect that too. It’s not my place to retell or recount your story to So-and-So.”
Friends, it was a game-changer. My dad, who does not take well to being told what to do, actually acknowledged the request and capitulated.
Huh, that’s all it took?
Sometimes, when you begin this work, it can feel like a WHOLE LOTTA STRUGGLE for what’s the point anyway?! and leave you feeling a little lost.
The point is for moments like the one I had with my dad. The point is in the transformation of being able to register an internal trigger, process it, calmly and respectfully ask for what you need, without guilt or shame, all within a matter of seconds.
The point is being able to RESPOND not react- this is self-mastery.
Do I guarantee that each time your buttons get pushed you’ll go all Zen monk? Nope, sure don’t!
Do I guarantee that when you start to see yourself handle situations better today than a past version of you would have, you’ll want to keep investing in your peace? Yes, that I can stand behind.
If you are on the road of inward travels, then I salute you. It takes courage and there is no turning back.
To all you lightworkers out there, being the heroes of your own stories, I send you encouragement. Keep going!
From one Tough Cookie to another,
Kaleigh